


A breath away's not far

by Ingi



Series: All The Kinks [1]
Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Breathplay, Community: kink_bingo, Danger, Fake Blood, FreeDyck Is The True Ship Name, Ging Freecs' A+ Parenting, Held Down, Hiatus X Hiatus, Light Angst, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Non-Sexual Kink, Queerplatonic Relationships, Roleplay, Threats of Violence, Under-negotiated Kink, Writing on Skin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-26
Updated: 2017-06-26
Packaged: 2018-11-19 09:55:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11310951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ingi/pseuds/Ingi
Summary: "I need you to pretend you've been sent to kill me," Gon says, slowly. And Killua realizes this has to be Gon's way of coping, butreally. Before he can even open his mouth, though, Gon adds, "It's... an excercise.""It doesn't make sense," Killua replies, scowling."It doesn't have to. It's just... something." And then he delivers the killing blow. "It's different when it's Killua."





	A breath away's not far

**Author's Note:**

> Is it platonic? Is it romantic? Nobody knows.  
> But I absolutely needed the freeforms "Hiatus X Hiatus" and "FreeDyck" to grace the world with their blessing, so here we are. No, that's not the only reason I've written this fic. Filling a line in the Kink Bingo was also a factor, but I must admit, a minor one.  
> So anyway, the kinks for this round are Roleplay, Held Down, Breathplay, Danger, and Writing on the Body.

They're in Yorknew City when Killua receives a call from his father.

As a rule, he ignores any attempts of communication from his family. If they really need to contact him for whatever reason, they'll make sure to let him know. He's good, probably good enough to hide from them forever if he wished so, but not good enough to avoid them completely.

He does have a sixth sense, however, for when _shit is about to go down_ , and it startles into awakening the very instant he hears his phone ringing.

"Father," he says, in what he knows is the blandest voice possible.

Gon immediately stirs where he's lying in the hotel bed.

"You'll be glad to know Ging Freecs never paid the fee for his son's assassination," Silva informs him. "And as such, no one will be sent to kill him."

Killua blinks, as expressive as his training allows him to be in this kind of situations. His father hangs up on him, without as much as an _explanation_ , and Killua vaguely wants to panic or get angry, maybe even feel his knees weak from relief, but now it's not the moment. Instead, he turns his father's words over and over in his mind. It's impossible to guess at his motives, as usual, but Killua does get two important facts straight out of the process.

One, Gon is _safe_. Two, Ging Freecs wanted Killua's family to kill him.

"Killua?" Gon says, sounding close enough to concerned that Killua steps towards the bed to flick him on the forehead. Gon _is_ reassured by that, but not deterred, because well, _Gon_. "What's wrong?"

And Killua considers, for a long moment, lying to him. Well, not _lying_ , because he doesn't lie to Gon, but not telling him anything at all. He knows Gon wouldn't pressure him unless he thought it necessary, which he rarely ever does. But. Gon _would_ want to know, definitely, and even with the only other source he could learn the information from probably being Ging himself, Killua doesn't want to risk not telling him and then having him find out either way.

Better to hear it from him, so Killua can control the explosion. Better not to jeopardize his trust, not when it's so precious.

Killua takes in a breath.

"Your father hired my family to kill you." A pause. Gon sits up in the bed, but doesn't otherwise react. Bad sign. "He didn't go through with it, though."

He almost says something crass, like _No money means no murder_ , or something useless and oversentimental like _I'm glad you're alright_ and _It's okay_ and _I would've killed them for you_ , but he stops himself, even if all of those are true. He also discards trying for anything comforting, because he's never been good at that and because the only option he can see is speculating about Ging's motives, and _that_ , he won't do.

And Gon still doesn't utter a word. He's- _blank_.

Not that Killua expected a normal reaction from Gon. Gon is not normal, that's just how it is. But he did expect a _Gon_ reaction, and he's not getting it. There's no cold anger or denial disguised as ridiculous cheer, no fierce determination to find Ging and make him explain himself.

Killua is seriously considering kicking him in the face just to see if he reboots when Gon finally speaks.

"Killua, I need you to do something for me."

And Killua is thinking _Anything_ , but he's only human, despite all, and he's also hoping Gon will ask him to put a hit out on Ging. With the Zoldyck family resources, they will _definitely_ find him, and Killua will _definitely_ make him pay.

"What?" he asks, like it matters.

"I need you to pretend you've been sent to kill me," Gon says, slowly. And Killua realizes this has to be Gon's way of coping, but _really_. Before he can even open his mouth, though, Gon adds, "It's... an excercise."

"It doesn't make sense," Killua replies, scowling.

"It doesn't have to. It's just... something." And then he delivers the killing blow. "It's different when it's Killua."

And Killua maybe gets it, maybe even appreciates what's behind it, but he doesn't have to _like it_.

"What would you even want me to do?" Killua grumbles. "If I'd been sent to kill you, I would just _kill you_."

"And if I were someone your family really hated?" Gon asks, undaunted. "Or if you were asked only to taunt me, to warn me off?"

" _That_ 's what you want?" Killua says, incredulous, and receives only a nod in return.

Had the situation been different, although Killua can't imagine _how_ , he would have prepared it with more care. There would have probably been chases and spying and stalking involved. But Killua wants to get this over with, so the second he gets the okay, he closes the space between them and pushes Gon back on the bed, pressing his wrists against the mattress with an unyielding grip, holding him down with all his strength.

And Gon is strong and will be even stronger than Killua when he gets a better control of his Nen, but for now, Killua is the one who has been trained and the one who is strong and fast and a natural killer, and he's taken him by surprise. He has the upper hand, and besides, Gon needs this, _wants_ this. There's only so much of a fight he will put up.

"I will be afraid," Gon suddenly says, like it's nothing. "I _am_ afraid," he corrects himself, licking his lips. Killua can't tell whether it's a nervous gesture or not. "But you can't break character. Not until we're done."

And, of course, he doesn't bother mentioning what _being done_ entails, rather assuming that Killua will just know somehow.

"So this is the great Gon Freecs?" Killua says, making his voice low and mean. He should be scared of Gon seeing how he really is, but Gon's already _seen_ , so what does it matter. "So easily defeated?"

"I'm not defeated yet," Gon replies, eyes suddenly shinning. He almost looks alive again, and it makes it all worth it. "You can't hurt me."

"Are you sure?" Killua grins, his sharp-as-a-knife smile that makes him look more than a little deranged. Gon tries to throw him off, puts a considerable burst of strength behind it, but Killua's grip is too steady and won't be dislodged. "Because I think I can hurt you just fine."

He loosens his hold on Gon's wrists, just enough for his claws not to tear them open when he lets them out. They rest against the skin, taunting, and Gon's pulse speeds up.

"As long as I am breathing," Gon hisses, but then trails off, or maybe that was all he intended to say in the first place.

Killua tilts his head forward, nuzzles Gon's neck almost fondly. He knows how to tear someone's throat open with his teeth. It's not something he's used often, and it's messy and annoying and involves way more effort than it's worth, but he _can_ do it. And he's sure Gon knows.

He presses a kiss to Gon's carotid artery, then to his jugular vein, like he's playing a game of finding and choosing what will kill him best.

Gon is shaking under him, but Killua is not worried. Well, he _is_ , but not because he thinks Gon is afraid of him. Even if he is, it will pass; Killua hasn't crossed any lines, he knows that like the beating of his own heart. What he's not that sure of is whether there are any lines to cross as far as Gon is concerned.

"What if you _weren't_ breathing?" Killua suggests, not entirely sure of where that came from until he sees Gon's eyes lighting up even more, his face recovering some color. Of all the things, he can't believe _this_ is what is fucking helping him.

There's a moment of silence as Killua stares at Gon like a hunter would at prey and Gon stares back in defiance. But Killua is actually methodically planning what he's going to do, and Gon's breathing is too loud and harsh. He struggles under Killua's weight, but there's not much intent behind it; he knows when he's lost, and besides, he's too distracted, nearly salivating at the threat despite how hard he's trembling.

One of Killua's hands is more than enough to keep Gon's wrists trapped. He uses the other to stroke Gon's face tenderly, his claws barely brushing it, and then slides it slowly down to Gon's neck. His palm is wide open and light there, at first, his thumb resting over the jugular. Even that seems to make it difficult for Gon to breath properly, although that must be anticipation, because Killua isn't even doing anything yet.

He presses down on the jugular, just slightly, and Gon chokes. It's sudden fright more than anything, and he recovers quickly.

"Killua," he says, and Killua stops and searches his face, but there's nothing there that wasn't before. Calling his name for the sake of it, then.

Killua wraps his hand around Gon's neck, not strangling him or even holding him, just- there. And Gon, Gon actually _whines_. It's high and helpless, and completely unfamiliar to Killua, which is just _not on_ , so he starts pressing down on Gon's neck, slowly, the pressure he puts perfectly calculated each time. Gon makes that sound again and his eyes are half-closed, and tears are gathering in them.

"Killua," he says again, raspy.

It sounds like it's the only word he remembers, so Killua leans in and kisses him, gentle, and puts more pressure on Gon's neck when he tries to follow Killua's lips as he's pulling back.

"You lose," Killua hisses, lightly scratching Gon's throat with a claw.

A full-body shudder goes through Gon like an electric shock, and Killua thinks _Here, done_ , but Gon gasps desperately for a few seconds and then his eyes fly open again, his gaze on Killua.

"I've heard you draw blood," Gon whispers, jaw set, and _no_. No.

But Killua only takes his hand away from Gon's throat and puts it back around his wrists, tightening his grip as much as he can without his claws hurting him. He carefully shifts his body over Gon's, which is made easier by a conspicuous lack of struggle, and flips him over in a single movement. Gon, now face-down on the mattress, lets out a loud moan that is only half-muffled by the sheets.

Killua rests most of his weight on Gon and gets another moan out of it, and yet another one when he delicately cuts the back of his shirt open with a claw. He's certain Gon can't see him anymore, so he sheathes his claws and reaches out for one of the bottles of fake blood he always keeps at hand. This one is under the mattress, and it takes very little for him to get it, flip the cap open, and gingerly douse his nails with it.

Pushing the remains of the shirt apart, Killua runs a dull nail down Gon's back, the fake blood dripping as he goes. Gon sobs in response, and Killua would swear he can hear a _please_ too, but he tries not to think about it. Instead, he takes more fake blood and begins to draw, with great care, the hunter symbol. And when he's done, Gon is still shaking and making those little sounds that are breaking Killua's heart, so he draws the rune for Gon and then the rune for Killua.

And it still feels like he's not done, so he writes _forgiveness_ and _happiness_ and _luck_ next, and while busy with them he makes sure to really dig his nail in the flesh, because all of those hurt. He contemplates his masterwork for a moment, Gon finally quiet and breathing steadily under him, and writes a single last word, _love_ , with the utmost gentleness, because love might sometimes hurt but _his_ never does, his is the softest thing in the world, the softest thing in him by far.

He flips the cap of the fake blood bottle closed, returns it to its place, and quietly gets up.

Gon doesn't even bother moving, but he does turn his head towards Killua, his expression more relaxed than Killua believed it could ever be and his eyelids drooping sleepily.

"You live," Killua says, and Gon smiles.

"Come here," he breathes out.

So Killua slips into the bed, beside Gon, and curls up into a ball, pressing his forehead against the side of Gon's ribs. He's half-expecting Gon to fall asleep, but right, that would be the _normal_ thing to do, so of course what Gon does instead is blink slowly at him like a cat and speak again.

"My back doesn't hurt," he comments, in an vaguely accusing undertone. And then, "What have you written?"

Killua only smiles.

"You'll see in the morning, won't you?"

Gon does see in the morning. His back stays red for weeks.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Well, my guys, that was not particularly healthy BDSM, so remember not to take it as an example for anything!


End file.
